Everything will be okay: Part 1
This is my first article on the site and I’ve been struggling.
I have so much to write about but I don’t know where to start from or what to say.
‘MICHELLE JUST WRITE AND STOP OVER THINKING….’
“Okay…okay… I’ll do that’
Whenever we face challenges, it feels like this is the end. Everything is ruined and you cannot move past this phase.
Thoughts of the future begin to run through your mind. You imagine how everything will finally be over and you’ll be at peace but that tiny voice, self-doubt creeps in ‘you will NEVER escape. NEVER!’
Then you retreat back into your shell, with tears flowing you convince yourself ‘I cannot do it…’
At different points in our lives, we face challenges that makes it seem like this is the end but is it really the end?
I remember writing junior wassce in Nigeria (Jos, Plateau State) and I was scared. The teachers made me feel like there was no way I could ever pass (I’ll write an article about this soon).
I read my books but each time it felt like I wasn’t smart enough and there was no way I could ever succeed. Self-doubt became my best friend…
“You cannot pass this exam. See your mates they will be promoted and you will remain in the same class. Give up!”
We wrote the exams and started the next class (SS1) but here’s the thing, if you fail, you’d have to repeat JSS3 all over again.
Now image the humiliation of being told to return back to your previous class because ‘You did not perform well’.
I was scared. Each day I had panic attacks. Whenever I would see the principal, my heart will begin to race.
A female teacher made it worse. I remember she told me not to get comfortable because she doesn’t think I was smart enough to pass the exams.
Results came in and we were asked to go to her office one after the other. I was scared. Maybe I should just go home, there’s no way I’d pass.
I remember a junior student telling me not to worry. His mom brought in the results and I had passed. I did not believe him.
When it was my turn and I entered her office, she already made me feel like I did not make it.
When she took the sealed envelope, her mood changed and she looked up to me ‘… you passed!’
I was beyond excited.
She didn’t say a word to me again!
She gave me the envelop and I left her office.
(This has to be one of my fondest memories on this journey called life.)
She wasn’t happy but I didn’t care.
I passed.
I didn’t get straight A’s but I passed and that’s all that matters.
Everything will be okay.
Whenever you face any challenge, remember the ones you have already conquered.
Remember the times you cried.
Remember the times you almost gave up.
You are a fighter.
You are strong.
You cannot be defeated.
You have faced obstacles before.
Remind yourself of the times you thought you couldn’t make it.
Remind yourself of the journeys you have completed.
Remember the hurdles you have jumped and the foes you defeated.
Everything will be okay.
Wipe your tears.
Dust yourself.
Rise above it all.
I know it’s not easy.
Self doubt will always be there to remind you ‘it’s over’.
As I write this post, it tells me “No one will ever read your blog!”
But I have to remember the battles I’ve won.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
~MEU
Featured Image source: Nappy for Pexels
NB: pardon flaws or errors in my post. I’m so nervous about sharing my thoughts and life experiences. Thank you for stopping by 🙂
