September 19, 2024
While editing my home page, I noticed the last time I updated my journal was in 2022 – wow! This will be a short entry —
So what’s been happening? Well, a lot.
- I left my job as a game designer without any plans. I was completely burnt out and slowly losing myself. It was either stay or quit.
- I worked on a Disney Game. If you haven’t read the mini-case study, please read it here
- Finding a new job has been hard. I admit that I’m not one of those who apply for 1 million jobs daily. My mind is completely clouded but I need to push harder. Being broke is no fun.
- My mom got sick and hospitalized. It happened when I did not have a job — it’s a horrible feeling. I’ve been so hard on myself.
- I’ve finally settled down to learn Blender. I started many years ago and gave up. Started last year and gave up. Started in January of 2024 and gave up. Well, now I find myself in a situation where I have to force myself to learn. There is no quitting or making excuses. I’m proud to say that I am making progress and I wish I had learned Blender sooner.
- I am currently working on personal projects. Mentally I am not in a good place but life doesn’t care how you feel. I try to show up daily. I hope it pays off in the end — I really do.
- I am considering niching down — working on projects inspired by sci-fi.
- I do have many regrets. One of them would be allowing fear of the unknown to paralyze me.
- I am pushing myself hard to improve on multiple skills at the same time. Honestly, I feel sick but I hold on to the notion that if I show up, and share my work, good things will happen.
- I quit games. I should have said this at the start lol. The gaming industry is too fast-paced for me. I feel like I do not belong there. The sad part is I love games but now my entire being associates games with pain. I stumbled on a YouTube video that talks about burnout. The summary is that I need to teach myself how to love games again. I don’t know if I want to. Or maybe I will.
- I decided to create monthly calendars with inspirational words. It started because my coursemate from the University shared a personalized card I had created. At that time, I had a feeling we were all struggling so I wanted to do something to motivate the entire class. Turns out Richard still has his. I’m still fine-tuning the designs for the calendars but I do share what I’ve worked on every month. For the first time, I’m not overanalyzing or stressing over things. I’m just posting what I have while I improve the design.
- I want to be a nepo baby 🤣
I know I could have written this on my notepad but I want it here. The process sucks. It’s frustrating but I want to document it here. Hopefully, I’ll come back someday with good news or maybe I’ll just end up with 100 cats. You never know.
Bye for now 😛
